I don't know how to make my brain stop. Alpha complains that I never relax. And I really don't. How do you relax when there's a list of chores to be done? I feel like I take Saturday to do whatever, and when Monday rolls around, well, shit has to get done. The time to relax is over. It was allocated, and done, and now it's time to go back to work.
He gets upset that I am always go go go. But if I wasn't, when would we get going?
Some of it is just the constant stress. For the last two years, I was in grad school, and crazy about the horror that was my academic experience. Then I was hunting for a job, and stressed about the lack of interest. Then I had started my job, and was trying to adjust to the working world and our new location. Now it's time to study for boards, on top of my already busy job. Once boards are over, will I be able to breathe? Doubtful - once my exam is over, they're wanting me to go full time, and I'll lose my three day weekends.
Do you ever just have so much going on that you become paralyzed? So overwhelmed by responsibilities that you are literally unable to decide what to do?
Monday, June 27, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
On unicorn hunting
Are you, dear reader, are familiar with the term "unicorn" as it applies to polyamory? A unicorn - a mythical beast, oft hunted and rarely (never) found. In polyamory terms, a unicorn is a single female, hunted by a married (male/female) couple. A single bisexual female who is interested in a married couple, in what would usually become a closed relationship.
Unicorns are notorious because there aren't very many out there, compared to the vast numbers of unicorn hunting couples out there.
Unicorns are notorious because there aren't very many out there, compared to the vast numbers of unicorn hunting couples out there.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Meet the girls!
The story of how we got our Italian greyhounds...
I found the Italian Greyhound Club of America, and began working with their local rescue group (which, unfortunately, was based in Dallas.) There weren't many IGs in our area, but the lady who led the group was fabulous, and really believed that we could give an IG a good home.
We got A on December 31, 2008. We met her that day - picked her up in Dallas, driving from visiting family in Texas. It was nerve wracking. She lived under our bed for a month, and only ate when we left the apartment (and peed everywhere.) She had demodex when we got her, and we later realized that she had worms as well. But we persevered - lots of love, puppy massage, training classes at PetSmart, and visits to the dog park, once we felt she wouldn't run away. I remember, it was at the end of October that year that I saw her as a true dog, running to greet another dog instead of cowering.
I found the Italian Greyhound Club of America, and began working with their local rescue group (which, unfortunately, was based in Dallas.) There weren't many IGs in our area, but the lady who led the group was fabulous, and really believed that we could give an IG a good home.
We got A on December 31, 2008. We met her that day - picked her up in Dallas, driving from visiting family in Texas. It was nerve wracking. She lived under our bed for a month, and only ate when we left the apartment (and peed everywhere.) She had demodex when we got her, and we later realized that she had worms as well. But we persevered - lots of love, puppy massage, training classes at PetSmart, and visits to the dog park, once we felt she wouldn't run away. I remember, it was at the end of October that year that I saw her as a true dog, running to greet another dog instead of cowering.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Why Italian Greyhounds?
I realized today that I haven't properly introduced the inspiration for this blog: my two Italian greyhounds, Aubri and Emily (aka A and E.)
But first, why did we end up with Italian greyhounds in the first place? Even before we got married, I wanted Alpha to get a dog. He'd never had dogs growing up, and had a phobia of smaller dogs. When he first got his apartment, I had visions of getting him a Newfoundland, but he kept putting me off for some reason. Once we were married, the dream had to be put on hold, just for life reasons. We spent our first two years in no-dogs-allowed apartments. When we moved to Oklahoma for me to attend graduate school, we ended up on the eighteenth story of a high rise complex, which restricted dogs to under 30 lbs. But after we'd settled there, we agreed it was time for a dog. So I started searching for the perfect dog.
But first, why did we end up with Italian greyhounds in the first place? Even before we got married, I wanted Alpha to get a dog. He'd never had dogs growing up, and had a phobia of smaller dogs. When he first got his apartment, I had visions of getting him a Newfoundland, but he kept putting me off for some reason. Once we were married, the dream had to be put on hold, just for life reasons. We spent our first two years in no-dogs-allowed apartments. When we moved to Oklahoma for me to attend graduate school, we ended up on the eighteenth story of a high rise complex, which restricted dogs to under 30 lbs. But after we'd settled there, we agreed it was time for a dog. So I started searching for the perfect dog.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
How hard could it be?
Okay, techies. All I want to do is connect the laptop to the tv, so I can stream NetFlix without buying a Wii (or similar system.) It shouldn't be hard. The tv has standard A/V input, and my dvd player and PS2 are connected to it via an selector box which has standard A/V and S-video input and output. The laptop had VGA and S-video outlets.
Day one: After looking at adapters and such online, I decide I need a S-video to standard video adapter. I already have A/V cords to connect to the selector box. I have a gift card to Office Depot. They don't have em. Ran an errand to Target. They don't have em either.
Day two: Radio Shack doesn't have em either.
Day three: Check this place called "Micro Center," which is apparently the place to go (according to the Radio Shack guy.) Buy adapter.
Go home. Plug in adapter to S-video of laptop and standard audio cables into the headphone jack. But the adapter has a 4 pin S-video, and the laptop has a 7-pin S-video. And standard audio cables do not really fit in headphone jack. Decide that it's a failure, and give up. However, notice that selector has 4 pin S-video input.
Day four: Return adapter. Can't find a cord that has 7-pin S-video anywhere. Explain to employee. Employee googles and concludes that 4-pin should work with a 7-pin. Buy S-video cable. Also remember to buy cable that adapts headphone output to standard audio.
Go home to finally hook up system. Plug in audio, which works fine. Plug in S-video from laptop to selector box, which doesn't work at all. Spend several minutes on google and various help forums, to no avail. Google more and realize that selector box does not convert S-video to standard video on the whim of the user. Finally decide to just plug the stupid S-video straight into the TV... TV does not have S-video input.
So, really, the only way to get this thing connected is to go back and buy the adapter (which was returned earlier in the day,) and then use the adapter and standard video cable to connect laptop and selector box. Which is what I did yesterday, except I gave up prematurely due to the pin discrepancy. All I've got to say is, it better work this time...
Update (06-14-11) Everything works! Although I'm a little disappointed that NetFlix doesn't have all the shows I want available for direct streaming. Some, I'd have to order on dvd, which isn't nearly as gratifying.
Day one: After looking at adapters and such online, I decide I need a S-video to standard video adapter. I already have A/V cords to connect to the selector box. I have a gift card to Office Depot. They don't have em. Ran an errand to Target. They don't have em either.
Day two: Radio Shack doesn't have em either.
Day three: Check this place called "Micro Center," which is apparently the place to go (according to the Radio Shack guy.) Buy adapter.
Go home. Plug in adapter to S-video of laptop and standard audio cables into the headphone jack. But the adapter has a 4 pin S-video, and the laptop has a 7-pin S-video. And standard audio cables do not really fit in headphone jack. Decide that it's a failure, and give up. However, notice that selector has 4 pin S-video input.
Day four: Return adapter. Can't find a cord that has 7-pin S-video anywhere. Explain to employee. Employee googles and concludes that 4-pin should work with a 7-pin. Buy S-video cable. Also remember to buy cable that adapts headphone output to standard audio.
Go home to finally hook up system. Plug in audio, which works fine. Plug in S-video from laptop to selector box, which doesn't work at all. Spend several minutes on google and various help forums, to no avail. Google more and realize that selector box does not convert S-video to standard video on the whim of the user. Finally decide to just plug the stupid S-video straight into the TV... TV does not have S-video input.
So, really, the only way to get this thing connected is to go back and buy the adapter (which was returned earlier in the day,) and then use the adapter and standard video cable to connect laptop and selector box. Which is what I did yesterday, except I gave up prematurely due to the pin discrepancy. All I've got to say is, it better work this time...
Update (06-14-11) Everything works! Although I'm a little disappointed that NetFlix doesn't have all the shows I want available for direct streaming. Some, I'd have to order on dvd, which isn't nearly as gratifying.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
The three letter word...
(Note: This was originally written in October 2003. I found it among some old emails, and was so impressed with my own writing skills that I thought I should share.)
The three letter word that should have been four. Perhaps one letter got dropped in the rush. People use the word often. Verb form. They get carried away. They go crazy. Caught up in a moment that they've been planning their entire lives. It's a good word, I hear. It's a dirty word, too, or so I'm told. A naughty word; a nice word. Confusing and compelling and lovely and forbidden and intimidating and gentle and understanding and sweet and bitter and cold and hot, all at the same time. Do you know the word I mean? You know the word; we all know it, due to overexposure in the media and half heard gossip in the locker rooms of America. The dirty jokes, and the giggles at slumber parties.
Sex.
It is evil, or is it good? Perhaps it can be both at the same time? Religion warns against it. Movies glorify it. Newspapers use it for a headline, and magazines sell depending on how often it's printed on their covers. Parents worry about it. Children wonder about it. They stay up all night, concerned that you're out using the word; you stay up all night, wondering if you should. (Of course, some of us already have. Though it may come as a shock, your parents use the word, too.)
How can such a short little word be so loaded? How can a single syllable spark so much controversy? Of course, there are codes and buzzwords we use to get around that delicate little word. We wink and nudge, and you get the point across through a subtle combinations of carefully placed phrases and carefully timed glances. But why don't we go ahead and just use the word itself? What are we afraid of?
The three letter word that should have been four. Perhaps one letter got dropped in the rush. People use the word often. Verb form. They get carried away. They go crazy. Caught up in a moment that they've been planning their entire lives. It's a good word, I hear. It's a dirty word, too, or so I'm told. A naughty word; a nice word. Confusing and compelling and lovely and forbidden and intimidating and gentle and understanding and sweet and bitter and cold and hot, all at the same time. Do you know the word I mean? You know the word; we all know it, due to overexposure in the media and half heard gossip in the locker rooms of America. The dirty jokes, and the giggles at slumber parties.
Sex.
It is evil, or is it good? Perhaps it can be both at the same time? Religion warns against it. Movies glorify it. Newspapers use it for a headline, and magazines sell depending on how often it's printed on their covers. Parents worry about it. Children wonder about it. They stay up all night, concerned that you're out using the word; you stay up all night, wondering if you should. (Of course, some of us already have. Though it may come as a shock, your parents use the word, too.)
How can such a short little word be so loaded? How can a single syllable spark so much controversy? Of course, there are codes and buzzwords we use to get around that delicate little word. We wink and nudge, and you get the point across through a subtle combinations of carefully placed phrases and carefully timed glances. But why don't we go ahead and just use the word itself? What are we afraid of?
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