Broken

I don't yet know what is wrong, but there is something very wrong with my intestines.  I don't want to go into too much detail because, really, its pretty gross, and my close friends already know more details than they really should.  (Is it silly that I don't mind hearing about my friends' issues, but I feel very self conscious about getting gory about my own issues?)
It's so frustrating to feel like this.  Especially since I don't know what it is.  Am I actually ill?  Is it something that could be cured by massive doses of antibiotics, or is it something that is going to drastically alter my life?  The idea of having to change my diet is scary.  I love food.  Every food.  I'd almost rather have cancer than celiac or Crohn's.  (And as sick as it sounds, it has occurred to me that, if I had something serious, it would enable me to put off retaking my board certification exams.)

It's persistent, and it's frustrating, and it's scary.  And it's getting worse, which is really the scariest part.  Why don't these things just go away and get better on their own?