Dear Lady,
Last night was not okay. I only console myself by believing that you honestly didn't realize how that would hurt our feelings. But by buying into that belief, it tells me that you don't understand because you simply don't care. Which, of course, kinda ruins things.
I think Alpha and I have been pretty clear about what we want. And I don't really care that I'm "the only girl for you," when you start talking about how you've found a man you think you'd like to date. A relationship is a relationship, regardless of the genders involved. Just like I wouldn't want Alpha to talk about his boyfriend, if I were completely separate from them (if we had an open relationship, which we do not.)
We do not have an open relationship. We have us, and you. And we want you to be with us. We've given you your space, and then chance to see other people. But that closed circle is important for more reasons than simply the emotions. We don't have sex with anyone else. And we can't make you take an STD test every time you sleep with someone. It isn't practical. But wow, I'm beginning to want to. (You say you don't have sex that often? In the six months we've known you, I can count at least 3 men that I know of. And at least one other than you would have slept with if you had the chance. And I know at least one of them is pretty indiscriminate.)
Last night, you invited us for dinner. It was just going to be the four of us - you, me, Alpha, and your son. I was relieved. It was like a sign that you were starting to figure out how much we cared. To sit down like a family. (Okay, I'm stretching, I know.) And then you called and mentioned that your cousin was coming. That was fine. But when we arrived, and you mentioned that this boy was coming... How could that not be a slap in the face?
He's younger than I am. Directionless, best I can tell. You've been talking online for two months, and met him once before, and now you're infinitely impressed that he spent the whole day hanging out with you and your son. You feel like you have to go for it, take a chance on a relationship with this boy. Because how could you not love a man who hangs out with you and your son all day? And oh, he gets along with your son so well!
Saying that made me want to slap you. How do you not get it? What about Alpha, who just spent two days - two full days - babysitting for you. We helped find you an apartment. We picked up the tab for every meal we spent together. He took a train to help you load the moving truck, drove the truck, and unloaded it, basically single handed. (Yes, we did get some help. That other man you thought you might date came when you called him directly. And left as quickly as possible.) And when this boy arrived last night, who did your son want to play with? Not him - me. I think that should tell you something.
Perhaps being someone's girlfriend has a different meaning for you. It still bothers me that you decided to call me that without discussion, but I felt that I didn't want to rock the boat. After all, I do want to be your girlfriend. But you can't simply ignore Alpha.
These are our rules for dating. Maybe yours are different, but I think you need to know ours. You need to really read them, and think about them, and really grasp what wanting to date you means to us. To US.
1) Only date a person you can see yourself marrying (or in a long-term relationship.)
2) Only date a person you have fun with, and enjoy being around.
3) If rule 1 or 2 no longer applies, stop dating them.
Maybe now you'll grasp why we seem so serious about pinning you down. But really, helping entertain your potential mates (that aren't us) isn't very fun. Because it tells me that you're not playing by the same rules. You wouldn't invite another potential to the table if you understood rule 1.
Especially since said boy is so blatantly disinterested in making nice. Doesn't matter if he "knows about us" or not. Derailing my attempts at conversation, falling asleep during the board game (which you picked to play.) No, if he was tired, he should have left and gone to bed. Not wait around in hopes that you'd invite him to your bed. But when you practically climb in his lap and cuddle... that's not exactly sending him the signal to back off.
We can't do this much longer. We love spending time with you, and thinking about that possible future together gives me (I don't know about Alpha) the warm fuzzies. But if it really isn't a possibility? If it really isn't, then I need to know. We leave your presence feeling drained, defeated, like giving up. I guess we need to.
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